Men have wanted to last longer in bed since there were beds.
We all want to satisfy our partners. We all want to embody the ideal of masculinity. No one wants to be the dreaded “one-minute man.”
Premature ejaculation brings on feelings of shame and inadequacy. Meanwhile, it leaves your partner with doubts about your sexual potential.
Coming too quickly is the fastest way to go from hero to zero.
If you want to last longer in bed, you’re not alone.
A full 45% of men finish sex too quickly – or under two minutes – according to the recent book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups.
So what’s the baseline for sexual stamina?
- 5.4 minutes is the average duration of sex
- 3 – 7 minutes is an “adequate” duration for sex
- 7 – 13 minutes is a “desirable” duration for sex
Despite the data, science still doesn’t know what causes premature ejaculation (PE).
Today, we give you six techniques that every Adonis Alpha uses to last longer in bed. You’ll also hear from top male porn stars on the porn-proven ways to increase sexual stamina and rock your lover until the early hours.
6 Proven Ways to Last Longer in Bed
#1 Begin with Foreplay
Foreplay helps to insulate the male sexual system from premature ejaculation. All that dry humping, nipple sucking, and genital kissing? It lessens the impact of that first wave of sensation you get from penetration.
Penetration after foreplay is like shifting gears in a car. The engine is already warm so there’s only a relative increase in feeling as you insert yourself. In turn, you’re less likely to lose control.
Sex without foreplay, though? It’s like taking a quantum leap to Pleasure Town. The light bends and you just hope to arrive without embarrassing yourself.
Easing into sex also helps to reduce performance anxiety, which is thought to contribute to premature ejaculation. This relaxed and attentive state will translate into a more enjoyable roll in the hay, while the increased arousal will add to your sexual staying power.
Is it any wonder that women love foreplay?
#2 Tug on Your Testicles
Your nuts hang freely when you’re not aroused. But as you approach climax, the testicles coil inward to the body. You can reset your excitement level with a bit of manual handiwork.
“When I’m close I tug my testicles down,” says porn star Dick Chibbles. Pulling the testicles down from this tightened position has a calming effect on the penis, and works to alleviate any feelings of imminent ejaculation.
“I find that if I tug them down, kind of stretch them a bit, it resets how much time I have left. I know it sounds funny, but hey, try it sometime. You might be surprised to see it works,” Chibbles said.
This technique is most easily done when you’re astride or behind your partner. You may need to switch positions to do this without stopping the flow of sex. Just communicate so your partner can help you last your longest.
#3 Control Your Breath
Breath control is an often overlooked part of sex. And yet, proper breathing can be a very effective tool in helping you last longer in bed.
Next time you’re fucking, notice how you’re breathing. If the breath is rapid and shallow, it’s pushing you closer to climax. Instead, try to take deep and slow breaths from deep in your abdomen down near your cock.
Abdominal breathing helps to diffuse the sensation in the penis throughout the body. This way, all the stimulation doesn’t gather at the penis tip, but moves through the shaft, into the chest, and down the legs.
When the sensation isn’t localized in the head, it helps return you to a calm state of pleasure and control.
Focusing on your breath can also distract you from coming, says Chibbles:
“I focus more on the sound of my breathing. The increased oxygen flow increases my erection’s firmness and keeps me in control of my body.” Steady breathing helps you last longer because it signals to the brain that there’s nothing to get excited about.
This is a powerful technique but it can take practice. As Chibbles said, he “developed [it] over the years to keep my concentration and almost mute the sensation on my penis.”
Take it from a sexual Olympian: breathe control is dick control.
#4 Focus on Your Partner, Not Yourself
Try to avoid thinking about your cock during sex. Where the mind goes, the body follows. If you’re concentrating mostly on penile sensations, don’t be surprised if you pop off early.
Bring your attention to your partner. The immediate benefit of this technique is being more receptive to your partner’s desires and being better able to satisfy her. It will also distract you from the lightning storm brewing in your ballsack.
“I focus on the girl (or girls) I’m having sex with; on their enjoyment over mine,” said adult film star Ryan Driller. This is a standard technique in the porn industry where guys frequently feel like coming way ahead of schedule.
“If you’re focusing on her pleasure and helping to get her off, you probably won’t even notice what you’re feeling. The best part is, she’ll really want to reciprocate afterward. So it’s a total win-win for you,” said Driller.
Zooming in on small details of your partner will help you last longer. For example, you could pay attention only to the feeling your lips make as you brush them on her neck. Or the smell of her hair.
This sexual tunnel vision will help you reduce the risk of premature ejaculation and give her the best sex ever.
#5 Change Positions
Certain positions are more likely to induce orgasm than others. But a position that makes one person come immediately can be unexciting to another. Your goal is to find one or two ways of fucking that don’t force an orgasm.
Next time you’re comfortable experimenting with your partner, test your stamina in various poses. If you feel like you’re going to lose it – stop and reset, then continue. Body awareness and practice will help you discover positions that are both enjoyable and increase your endurance.
Communication is key to changing positions before your rocket goes ka-boom.
“Let your partner know how you feel and if what they’re doing to you feels too intense, ” says Chibbles. “What most male talent does, is if we’re close, and, say, the girl is riding on top of us, we’ll give a little tap on their leg where the camera can’t see.”
“That’s saying: “Hey, change it up a little. You’re getting me close and we’ve still got another 45 minutes to fuck here,” Chibbles concluded.
Rotating is a great way to find and enjoy positions that increase your stamina. Talking about what you want will allow for a more intimate, connected experience that will improve the quality of your sex.
#6 Do Kegels
Kegels are strength training for your sex life. To perform a Kegel, repeatedly contract and relax your pelvic floor muscles. Strengthening these muscles, which attach directly to the penis, will grant you incredible control over when and how you blow your load.
A recent study from Sweden found that men who practiced Kegels over 12 weeks were able to prolong their time to ejaculation by a whopping 400%. The average duration increased from 31.7 seconds to 146.2 seconds, and the subjects’ confidence also saw a significant increase.
The secret to effective Kegels is building endurance in these muscles. For example, pelvic floor control is central to the tireless stamina of Tantric sex. But you can only keep yourself from ejaculating if these muscles are fit.
Follow a daily Kegel routine to develop your pelvic floor muscles. You can do this exercise anywhere and takes just a couple of minutes a day. A variety of apps such as Kegel Trainer can remind and show you how to get the most from this stamina-increasing sex workout.
You’ll know it’s working when you feel a tingling rush of sensation shoot up your spine. When you’re feeling yourself, feel free to share these good vibes with any pretty ladies nearby.
How to Last Longer in Bed
Premature ejaculation is both common and preventable.
To achieve your best stamina, make sure your body is fully aroused with foreplay. Aim to control your breath during sex, as rapid breathing is sure to make you lose it.
Turning your attention to your partner will help you avoid premature ejaculation, as will changing positions as needed. You can fortify your sexual muscles with Kegels, or tug on your testicles to reduce feelings of overexcitement.
